Sharon Needs....

I've heard that the internet knows what I need.  I heard this from Diane and Diane's Addled Ramblings (my latest daily haunt--probably because she reminds me of ME.)

This is the deal.  You type your name into Google, followed by the word "needs" and prepare to be amazed at the sheer genius of the internet.  Here are my results, in no particular order (and corrected for spelling and grammar--sorry--I just can't help mysef!):

1. Sharon needs to do something simple that would have a profound meaning worldwide.  (wouldn't that be good?!)
   
2. Sharon needs to pee. ( How do they KNOW that?!!)
3. Sharon needs a new word. (um. yeah.)
4. Sharon needs to be told to stop shooting and start talking. (Damn!)
5. Sharon needs to stop being Nick's doormat.  (Nick?  I don't know any Nick...and I'm certainly NOT a doormat!)
6. Sharon needs to shut her fu*%king mouth. (ha!)
7. Sharon needs a swimming suit on Yahoo. (apparently Google isn't aware that I just RETURNED from Florida.)
8. Sharon needs a hand.
9. Sharon needs a female friend. (ANOTHER one?  Well, I guess you can never have too many friends, right?)
10. Sharon needs to do the right thing and turn him in! (Hmmm..this could go so many ways...has anyone seen my ex? lol)
11. Sharon needs to keep in touch with the people who really matter.  
12. Sharon needs help.  (Ain't THAT the truth!)
13. Sharon needs to get herself a backbone and learn how to stand up to people.  (Ummm....OK...I'm such a shrinking violet.)
    
14. Sharon needs a new hairstyle and up-to-date clothes.
15. Sharon needs to be herself for a while.
16. Sharon needs it.  (Hee!  Seriously?!)
17. Sharon needs a hobby! (LOL!  I'm the queen of hobbies!)
18. Sharon needs a driver and assistant.  (Wow!  Sounds good!)
19. Sharon needs to get a life.  (Hey!)
20. Sharon needs to buck up and just be a mom for ONCE.  (Geez...it's all I DO!)
    
21. Sharon needs an excuse to organize and execute another bloodbath. (Don't worry...I'm not a psychopath--really!)
    
22. Sharon needs to back off on the medication. (Hey, meds might actually be a fun diversion for me!)
23. Sharon needs charm school.  (OMG! LOL!)
24. Sharon needs to get her head out of her ass.  (Are these great, or what?!)
25. Sharon needs email. (That's right, people!  That means YOU need to comment on my blog instead of lurking!!  Come on, now!  I promise I won't invite you to the bloodbath!  Hee!)

The list could go on and on, but I'm stopping at 25.  I think there's enough there to chew on, don't you?